Bereavement, the process of grieving the loss of a loved one, is an intensely personal and emotional experience. It can trigger a range of emotions – sadness, anger, confusion, or even numbness. Each person’s journey through grief is unique, and there’s no “right” way to mourn. However, understanding the grief process and learning ways to manage the pain can help ease the burden.
This article offers an overview of the stages of grief and practical tips for coping with bereavement.
Understanding Bereavement: The 5 Stages
Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced the concept of five stages of grief, which has since become widely recognised:
- Denial: The initial shock of losing a loved one can leave people in disbelief, with thoughts like, “This can’t be happening.”
- Anger: Anger may be directed toward oneself, others, or the situation, as the reality of the loss starts to sink in.
- Bargaining: This stage involves attempting to make deals with a higher power or even fate in hopes of reversing or lessening the pain.
- Depression: A deep sense of sadness often follows, as the full weight of the loss settles in.
- Acceptance: Over time, individuals may reach a place of acceptance where they come to terms with the loss, even if they still feel sadness.
It’s important to recognise that these stages are not linear; you may move back and forth between them or experience different emotions simultaneously. Grief is a complex and personal process.
Top Tips for Coping with Bereavement
While no single approach works for everyone, here are some strategies that may help you cope with the pain of bereavement:
1. Allow Yourself to Grieve
Grief is a natural response to loss, and it’s important to allow yourself to feel those emotions without judgment. Suppressing grief can lead to unresolved feelings, which may manifest later in more complicated ways. It’s okay to cry, feel angry, or be confused – give yourself permission to mourn.
2. Talk About Your Feelings
Talking about your loss with a trusted friend, family member, or therapist can be immensely therapeutic. Sharing your thoughts and memories can help you process the experience and feel less isolated. If talking is difficult, writing in a journal can also provide a valuable outlet for your emotions.
3. Seek Support
Grief can feel incredibly isolating, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Surround yourself with supportive people who will listen and offer comfort. Support groups, whether in person or online, can also provide a space where you connect with others who are experiencing similar feelings. Also, calling your EAP service for free confidential advice and support.
4. Take Care of Your Physical Health
Grief can take a toll on your body as well as your mind. It’s easy to neglect your health when overwhelmed by sadness, but staying active, eating well, and getting enough sleep can help you feel more grounded. Gentle exercise, such as walking or yoga, can boost your mood and reduce stress.
5. Establish Routines
After a loss, life can feel chaotic. Reestablishing routines can provide a sense of stability and normalcy. Even small habits like eating meals at the same time each day or going to bed at a set hour can help you regain a sense of control during an emotionally turbulent time.
6. Memorialise Your Loved One
Finding ways to honour the memory of the person you’ve lost can bring comfort. This could be through creating a scrapbook, planting a tree in their memory, or participating in activities they loved. Some find solace in celebrating their loved one’s life through annual rituals or gatherings.
7. Allow Yourself Joy
While grieving, you may feel guilty for moments of happiness. It’s essential to remember that finding joy doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten your loved one or that you’re no longer grieving. Enjoying life’s small pleasures – spending time with friends, listening to music, or engaging in a hobby – can offer relief and balance during difficult times.
8. Avoid Self-Medication
Some people may turn to alcohol, drugs, or unhealthy habits to numb the pain of loss. While these behaviours might offer temporary relief, they often worsen grief and delay healing. Seeking healthy coping strategies like therapy, support groups, or creative outlets can provide more sustainable ways to manage the pain.
9. Give Yourself Time
Grief doesn’t have a set timeline. You may feel pressure to “move on” or “get over it,” but there is no need to rush the healing process. Some days will feel easier than others, and that’s okay. Allow yourself the time and space to grieve at your own pace.
10. Consider Professional Help
If your grief feels overwhelming, or if it starts to interfere with your daily life for an extended period, it may be helpful to seek professional support. Grief counsellors or therapists can guide you through the complex emotions and help you work through any unresolved feelings or trauma.
When Grief Becomes Complicated
For some, grief may evolve into something more challenging, often referred to as complicated grief or prolonged grief disorder. If, after an extended period, you’re unable to move through the stages of grief, find it difficult to function, or experience overwhelming sadness that doesn’t ease with time, it may be necessary to seek additional support from a healthcare professional.
Conclusion
Coping with bereavement is an ongoing process, and there’s no right or wrong way to grieve. Whether you seek solace in rituals, express your emotions through creativity, or rely on the support of friends and family, what’s most important is to find what feels right for you. Grieving is a journey that takes time, patience, and self-compassion. While you may never “get over” the loss of a loved one, you can learn to carry their memory with you and find a way forward.
By giving yourself space to grieve, taking care of your physical and emotional health, and reaching out for support when needed, you can navigate this difficult time with resilience and hope.
